Seattle Trauma Counseling offers therapy for adults recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse, whether it came from a partner, a parent, a boss or a religious leader. You can work with a therapist in person at our Edmonds or Kirkland office, or online anywhere in Washington State, and every therapist offers a free consultation.
You do not need to prove that the other person has a diagnosis. Narcissistic personality disorder can only be diagnosed by a clinician who assesses that person, and we will not diagnose someone who is not in the room. What we work with is your experience: being controlled, belittled or made to doubt yourself, and what that has left behind in your body and your relationships.
A narcissistic abuse therapist helps you make sense of what happened, trust your own perceptions again and calm a nervous system that has spent months or years on high alert. Recovery also means understanding why you stayed or keep going back, rebuilding boundaries, and grieving the relationship you hoped you had.
You might recognize some of these:
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which someone repeatedly denies, twists or rewrites what happened until you begin to doubt your own memory, perceptions and judgment. Over time it can leave you relying on the very person who is misleading you to tell you what is real.
Part of recovery is rebuilding trust in your own experience. In therapy that often starts with noticing what your body registered at the time, the tension or sinking feeling that came before you talked yourself out of it, because those signals were usually accurate.
Trauma bonding is a strong emotional attachment to someone who harms you, built through cycles of mistreatment followed by warmth, apology or relief. The unpredictable swing between pain and affection makes the bond harder to break, not easier, which is why leaving, or staying away, can feel impossible even when you know the relationship is hurting you.
Trauma bonding is not a sign of weakness. It is the nervous system doing what it learned to do to survive, and it tends to loosen when that survival response is understood and calmed rather than judged.
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior that limits your freedom and independence over time: monitoring your phone or movements, controlling money, cutting you off from friends and family, making the rules and punishing you for breaking them. There may be no physical violence at all, which is one reason it goes unrecognized for so long, sometimes by the person living in it.
Washington recognized this in 2022, when the legislature added coercive control to the definition of domestic violence for civil protection orders. We are not a legal service, but if any of this is happening to you, the hotline below can talk through your options.
Long-term emotional abuse can lead to complex PTSD (C-PTSD), a form of trauma that develops from repeated harm in a relationship you could not easily escape. Alongside the familiar PTSD symptoms, it often brings a deep sense of worthlessness, difficulty managing emotions and trouble feeling safe with other people. Our page on complex PTSD explains it in more depth.
Our work is phase-based. Before anything else we focus on your safety and on steadying a nervous system that has been on guard for a long time, so that looking at what happened does not leave you more shaken.
When you are ready, methods such as EMDR therapy and Brainspotting help painful memories lose their grip, while Internal Family Systems (IFS) makes room for the parts of you that still defend, miss or blame the person who hurt you, without forcing them to change.
Many survivors were primed for these relationships by childhood experiences, and some find themselves drawn into patterns of codependency. If the abuse came from a parent, our childhood trauma work applies directly, and if it came from a church or spiritual leader, our religious trauma therapists bring specific experience of spiritual abuse.
You do not have to leave before you start therapy. Many people begin while still in the relationship, and part of the work is getting clear about what you want and how to stay safe.
If you are afraid for your physical safety, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, at any time of day. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
You can see us at our Edmonds office (8923 240th St SW, Edmonds, WA 98026) or our Kirkland office (10512 NE 68th St, Suite 202, Kirkland, WA 98033), by appointment, or by secure video anywhere in Washington State. Some clients prefer online sessions when privacy at home or around town matters.
We are a private-pay practice. Each therapist's fee is discussed in the free consultation, with no obligation, and every therapist provides a superbill so you can claim out-of-network reimbursement if your plan includes it. Our practice details page covers how that works.
Every therapist at Seattle Trauma Counseling is licensed in Washington State, and you can verify any license through the Washington State Department of Health. In the free consultation we match you with the therapist best suited to what you have been through, and tell you honestly if someone outside our practice would fit better.
Yes. Therapy can help you make sense of the manipulation, reduce the anxiety, shame and self-doubt it left behind, and rebuild trust in your own judgment. Most people find the hypervigilance and intrusive replaying ease as the nervous system learns it is no longer under threat.
Understanding the bond is the first step: it is a survival response built by cycles of harm and relief, not proof of love or weakness. Limiting contact where you safely can, rebuilding support from other people, and working with a therapist on the nervous system patterns that pull you back usually loosen it over time. Expect setbacks; they are part of how bonds break.
Where there is ongoing abuse or control in a relationship, couples therapy is generally not recommended, because it can put the person being harmed at more risk. Individual therapy is usually the safer starting point.
It varies with how long the abuse went on, whether it began in childhood, and how much support you have now. Some people feel steadier within a few months, while recovery from years of abuse usually takes longer. We review progress with you regularly.
Yes. Online sessions are available anywhere in Washington State. If you are still living with the person, your therapist can help you plan when and where sessions are safest to take.